Mad Math

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it takes to make a difference..

Growing up, my mom and dad always had this saying: "Go M.a.d." Go Make a difference...
Heading off to school? "Have a good day, we love you. Go M.a.d!"
Soccer game? "Play hard, do your best, Go M.a.d."
Meeting up with friends? "Be safe, have fun, Go M.a.d."

I know there were times when they were just words that rolled off the tongue.  Just as there were times when they were just words that went no further than the ears that heard them.  Regardless of those times that phrase seemed to me no more than rote repetition, there were many times when that same dictum to "go forth, and make a difference" truly awoke something within me.  Whenever that happened, I would tuck that old familiar phrase in the back of my mind and keep my eyes open for my opportunity to do exactly what it encouraged: be different.  See when I was younger it was the easiest thing in the world. Go M.a.d? Okay, I won't be such a pill to my teacher today. Go M.a.d? Well I guess it couldn't hurt to eat lunch with that Zed kid no one ever sits with. Go M.a.d? Yeah, I suppose I would be a better teammate if I were a little less proud and a little more encouraging at practice today.

So when did making a difference become more about what I could do rather than what I could do for others? When did it become such a lofty, unobtainable ideal? Go M.a.d.. Right, well, I can't very well do that without being the starting goal keeper can I?  Go M.a.d.. Sure, but I'm not nearly relevant enough until I get some more life experience under my belt first right?  Go M.a.d..  Totally, just as soon as I graduate.. Just as soon as I land that perfect job.. Just as soon as I establish myself in the community..

Did you notice the difference? How does a practical charge for everyday life turn into an impractical and unreachable idea? As we get older we gain more insight into "the bigger picture." We gain more understanding of time, of distance, of size.  We open up our view to include the entire world, the whole universe, the very history of human existence.  We realize the sheer multitude of variables that are present in any event, the voluminous number of occurrences that must come together just so in order for history to be made. "Go M.a.d." suddenly ceases to be an acronym, and often becomes the logical conclusion of what happens when you try to affect change.  How could we, one variable in the mix, possibly make a lasting difference?

By doing just that.. By responding differently than the world in any situation.. By changing the equation..

True, the equation of life consists of an infinity of variables that are completely beyond our control, but that doesn't mean they are all beyond our influence.  You, however, are the only one who gets to decide what kind of person you will be day in and day out.  What kind of variable you will be in the equation.  Will you fall in the negative column, or the positive? You may not be able to affect the sum of all the negative variables around you, but you can make a difference in the way your particular variable affects the equation. And though you might not have much influence on 7 billion variables, you certainly have influence on those in your vicinity.

-1+(-1)+(-1)+(-1)+(-1)= -5
-1+(-1)+(+1)+(-1)+(-1)= -3
-1+(-1)+(+1)+(+1)+(-1)= -1
-1+(+1)+(+1)+(+1)+(-1)= +1

Every time you choose to respond differently than expected, than the world responds, you are making a difference.. You are changing the equation.. You are changing the world..


Though you may never witness the full weight of your actions, go m.a.d. today

Faith is...

 “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

-                        - Hebrews 11:1

What is faith? How do we define it? Everyone has their own take, but I guess that’s because, in many ways, faith is deeply personal. This is my attempt at defining faith.  It was originally written to be more “spoken word” than prose, but I just felt like sharing it.

                What is faith? Faith is…. Belief.  Faith is…. Trust. Faith is…. Surrender.  Faith is setting an alarm to wake you up in the morning.  Faith is telling someone “I’ll see you soon.” Faith is leaping, whether you look first or not. Faith is opening your eyes, expecting to see; and having the confidence to say what will be will be. Kites have faith, and footballs; as do ships of the sea and the flowers out of bloom. Faith to soar, to score, to weather the storm, to once again embrace the sun. Because creation knows this ancient truth of faith: That though the night be long or the weather cold, faith is knowing the light of life again will shine, and all things have a purpose in their time. Faith is knowing that life is good and well worth living, even when the evidence says it isn't. Because faith is not evidence. Faith spans the gap to truth that evidence never can. Faith is inhale, it is exhale, it is your left foot following your right foot. Faith is believing in that which you have not experienced.  It is believing in that which experience tells you you shouldn't.  Faith is falling down and getting back up, faith is falling down and getting back up, faith is falling down and getting back up as many times as it takes because faith does not believe in defeat. Faith is replacing the sands of doubt with the seed of the mustard plant and shouting I believe into the heart of those who would have you not; into the heart of this world and its mountains that refuse to move; into God’s heart and into your own and into a glorious union of the two that you might be given the strength crucial, nay the strength necessary, to the opening of your eyes to yet another day. Not hoping, not contemplating, not postulating but knowing your life has meaning  today and it will having meaning tomorrow and the next day and the next day and a thousand years from now even as your name has passed from all memory and all history and it is only faith that can confirm your purpose and meaning for living.  Without it you can do nothing.  With it you can do anything. For faith is confidence and it is assurance and those who lack it miss out on the fullness of life.

"In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't." 

    -Blaise Pascal

Written 9/30/11

     I've been joking about what I've come to call the "white man's tax."  Anywhere I go in India (on the streets at least) the fair color of my skin means a raised price.  White people must have green auras.  I get maybe two of ten rickshaw rides at a fair price and even entry into museums and land marks jumps as much as 250% for foreigners.  The latter is not such a concern as, one would hope, for the most part the extra money goes towards preserving culture and history for the enjoyment of the less endowed natives.  The rickshaws, however, are a noose of annoyance around the neck of one's patience.  The tightening noose results in a death of frustration.  The truth is that people despise being taken advantage of.  it is an affront to pride and principle.  I all reality, though, an eight mile taxi ride for under two dollars really isn't that bad.  Granted, it can sneak up on you when you take six or seven smalls trips in a day, but the people doing that are pretty much just tourists anyway.  Is it really such a crime that foreigners are charged more because they are assumed to have more?  After all, we do for the most part.  Even those travelers who don't at least had enough to make it there - a luxury most natives will never know.  The fact is that if natives could afford (in general) to pay more they would be charged more.  A thing does not have to be fair in order to be just.  Besides, "... of him who much is given, much will be asked."
     So why is it we see greed and pride as being less wrong than cheating? Are the Seven sins so deadly because we are less likely to be aware of the level at which they have consumed us?  We so desperately want to believe that we are teaching - these fathers, sons, husbands just trying to live a better life - a lesson in honesty when we complain and demand a "fair" price.  In truth the only lesson we teach is of the selfishness and greed of foreigners.

Between a Leaf and Some 2-Ply

The speakers don't work in my Jeep, so any drive by myself these days is pretty much spent in silence (well, without music at least, soft top Jeeps are far from silent). One of the benefits, however, is that I am much more observant of my surroundings as I drive and notice things that I might not have had I been jamming to some tunes instead. The subject of this post is one such observation.

It seems there are the marks of construction and "progress" anywhere and everywhere you drive these days. And what inevitably comes along with construction sites? That's right. . . porta potties. They come in different colors, different sizes, and from different vendors. Port-o-Potty, Porta-John, Blu John, SaniPottie, etc. Driving back to school last night, however, a porta john caught my eye as it was named unlike any portable toilet I had ever seen before. It was called "The Comfort Zone." I chuckled at the ridiculousness of considering a porta pottie to be a desirable area of comfort. But without the distraction so readily provided by a simple turn of the volume knob, I did more than just chuckle; I started thinking.

You see, I have become very comfortable with the routine of school. I have become comfortable with the notion that I am in school and there's nothing I can do about it but just wait until I graduate in the distant future. Except that that distant future is here. And though I already have the next step of life planned out, and am incredibly excited about the work I am going to do this Summer, I still can't escape the eeriness of that fact that I will not be returning to school as I have after every Summer for the past sixteen years. Just like that, I will be leaving the so familiar and secure comfort zone that school has become for me. I never really realized it before, but "I'm stuck in school until I get my degree" has been a security blanket for me, an excuse of sorts to justify staying inside of my comfort zone.

I have been thinking about school and my other comfort zones a lot lately, and when I noticed the all-to-familiar porta pottie with the not-so-familiar name my wandering mind couldn't help but start making connections. You see, I would argue that when it comes to answering nature's call, a portable toilet is the least desirable option, as well as the option least likely to offer anything but artificial "comfort." But what's wrong with artificial comfort, really? After all, fake comfort is better than none at all right? No, I don't really think so.. Think about it: cramped, smelly, cold on cold days, stifling on warm days, and the cheapest 1-ply toilet paper on the planet. All a porta pottie succeeds in accomplishing is to make you regret having eaten anything at all that day and long for your truly comfortable and familiar throne back home. But even so, it is still more comfortable than finding a bush to hide behind.... Except it really isn't. That bush doesn't pretend to be a solid, lockable door, and leaves (should you so choose to use them) don't pretend to offer the comfort and quality of your tp at home. It may not be the most pleasurable thing in the world (though if you are a backpacker like me you know it can be, lol) but at least nature doesn't attempt to provide the illusion of comfort.

The point is, our comfort zones are the porta-johns of our life. They are a pitiful substitute for the real thing, and do nothing but keep us from truly experiencing what life has to offer us. The problem is that, for fear of the assumed discomfort of the unknown wild, we so frequently turn back to our comfort zones; even though they are no better, and are often worse, than what we might encounter if we would forget our fears and step out to experience the authenticity and awe-inspiring nature of imperfect life. Whether you are between a rock and a hard place or between a leaf and some quality 2-ply, the difference is the same: you are caught in the middle. And when you're stuck in the middle, you aren't going anywhere, and that highly prized comfort zone of yours is only keeping you from becoming the person you are meant to be.

Confidently Wandering

First of all, the answer is yes: I did steal the title from the title of Brittany Girle's blog, thanks Brittany :-)

I have always liked that word pairing. The truth of the matter is that the majority of us wander through life. Rare is the person with the 12-point plan for achieving their goals. Even more rare is the person who's plan goes, well, according to plan. The reality of it is, we simply are not able to see how things will pan out or why things happen the way they do until after the fact. I think about individuals from history and how destiny seemed to plan their lives for them. George Washington, Matin Luther King Jr., Martin Luther for that matter, Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Alexander the Great, Moses, Jesus, and on and on and on... Think of any influential person from history and history seems to form itself around that individual. What is so awesome to think about, though, is that all these people started their lives, lived, and finished their lives as wanderers, just like us. The truth is, you don't need to have all the answers. You don't need to have a 8-step plan to success. You don't even need to know where you are going in life because at the end of the day there still isn't any guarantee that you are going to get there because we are all wanderers; we simply do the best we can with what we have. What can we can do, however, is be confident in our wanderings.
People get their confidence to live life from a lot of different places. For some it is family, for others friends, a drive for success, athletic or intellectual prowess, and still others faith and religion. For many, confidence comes from a combination of two or more of these things. For me, the source of most my confidence is my Christian faith. I believe that Christ died to conquer sin and death so that He might bridge the gap between God and me that I might have everlasting life. Of course there is much, much more that goes into my faith and the way in which I live my life, but that is all I really need to know to confidently live life. Christ died to cleanse me of sin in God's sight and because of this I am redeemed as a child of God who will one day be welcomed home. I love getting lost when I drive. Full tank or running on fumes, in town or out, night or day, I really do enjoy the experience. Now that isn't to say it doesn't stress me out sometimes, especially when I'm in a hurry or leading others, but I always enjoy looking back on the experience. We can get so turned around, lost and confused without having even the slightest inkling of which way to go next, but the reality of it is we are never really that far away from finding the right path, or at the very least being able to communicate with someone who can direct you to the right path or even come rescue you from your situation. The fact is, no matter how lost you get, you don't stay lost forever. It reminds me of my life: no matter how lost or turned around I get in life, I still know where I ultimately want to go and I can always consult my Bible (road map) or talk to other Christians, and even God himself to help me get back on track. Either way, I won't stay lost forever. You see, my confidence in living as a Christian is not so much confidence of knowing where I need to be as it is being confident that my heart is where it needs to be, so I cant go wrong no matter where I wander to in life. That is what it means for me to be confidently wandering.

John 3, Romans 8, Galations 3

Semantics

se⋅man⋅tics [si-man-tiks]

–noun

3. the meaning, or an interpretation of the meaning, of a word, sign, sentence, etc.

I have been thinking about this concept a lot. Rarely do we take a second to think about the meaning of the words we are saying. Someone asks me how I'm doing and I respond "fine." The response is automatic. I don't even think about what I am saying, I just know a question was asked and this is the response I have for such a question. In reality I'm never doing just "fine." I started thinking about how often we do this, how easy it is. "How did the test go?" "Ugh, I wanted to kill myself." "How's life?" "Couldn't be better!" I understand that there is such a thing as exaggeration, and that we don't really mean that we want to "kill ourselves" or truly believe that there is nothing in our lives that could possibly be better, but the concept has really got me thinking. If wee say things without thinking about the real meaning behind our words, how often are other things we do affected? How often do we listen to words rather than what someone is saying? How often do we read text and ignore meaning? "Jesus died so that we may...." How do you finish this statement? What words do you use, but more importantly what meanings do you back those words up with? Jesus died so that we may. . . go to school? Work? Play? Be happy? Most people have heard this saying sometime in their life and probably know it is something along the lines of "Jesus died so that we may live."

live [liv]

–verb

1. to have life, as an organism; be alive; be capable of vital functions

2. to continue to have life; remain alive

That is how the word is defined, but does that cover it? Is that what you think when you say "I'm living life?" that you are capable of vital functions? I doubt it. You see, that saying isn't actually in the Bible, it is actually derived from John 3:16 ¹⁶"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. . ." The concept remains the same though. Christ died so that we may have eternal life. So what is eternal life to you? Is it eternity in Heaven? Is it immortality? Is it always being happy? I don't know; I think this is a personal question that we must all personally define. For me eternal life is about living everyday completely free and abundantly in every season of life. It's about rejecting the things that try and chain you because Christ died so that we may be FREE!! And ALIVE!!! Christ did not die so that we could decide to follow Him and be free when we die, He died to set us free right now! In this very moment you are free! Do you get that? Here's one more saying "Life is for the living." I guess my closing question then is, are you living a life worthy of your definition for it?

Haphazard By Design

We are all, each one of us, beautiful beings. As I think back to the times I have spent with friends, family, co-workers, participants, and just people in general I realize that we all have two things in common: 1.)We are all completely and wonderfully haphazard (even the most organized of us are at our core) and 2.) this random collection of traits, experiences, philosophies, and cultures that makes each one of us unique is all part of the magnificent and glorious human tapestry that is life. And though this beautifully messy tapestry of life may seem utterly without pattern or significance, it is the grand design of our God above who delights in the fact that life is really far from haphazard: life and our part in it has been intentionally designed by God. Even when it is difficult to see where the meaning or purpose is in a particular season of life God assures us that there is one if we will open ourselves to Him and His wisdom.