Mad Math

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it takes to make a difference..

Growing up, my mom and dad always had this saying: "Go M.a.d." Go Make a difference...
Heading off to school? "Have a good day, we love you. Go M.a.d!"
Soccer game? "Play hard, do your best, Go M.a.d."
Meeting up with friends? "Be safe, have fun, Go M.a.d."

I know there were times when they were just words that rolled off the tongue.  Just as there were times when they were just words that went no further than the ears that heard them.  Regardless of those times that phrase seemed to me no more than rote repetition, there were many times when that same dictum to "go forth, and make a difference" truly awoke something within me.  Whenever that happened, I would tuck that old familiar phrase in the back of my mind and keep my eyes open for my opportunity to do exactly what it encouraged: be different.  See when I was younger it was the easiest thing in the world. Go M.a.d? Okay, I won't be such a pill to my teacher today. Go M.a.d? Well I guess it couldn't hurt to eat lunch with that Zed kid no one ever sits with. Go M.a.d? Yeah, I suppose I would be a better teammate if I were a little less proud and a little more encouraging at practice today.

So when did making a difference become more about what I could do rather than what I could do for others? When did it become such a lofty, unobtainable ideal? Go M.a.d.. Right, well, I can't very well do that without being the starting goal keeper can I?  Go M.a.d.. Sure, but I'm not nearly relevant enough until I get some more life experience under my belt first right?  Go M.a.d..  Totally, just as soon as I graduate.. Just as soon as I land that perfect job.. Just as soon as I establish myself in the community..

Did you notice the difference? How does a practical charge for everyday life turn into an impractical and unreachable idea? As we get older we gain more insight into "the bigger picture." We gain more understanding of time, of distance, of size.  We open up our view to include the entire world, the whole universe, the very history of human existence.  We realize the sheer multitude of variables that are present in any event, the voluminous number of occurrences that must come together just so in order for history to be made. "Go M.a.d." suddenly ceases to be an acronym, and often becomes the logical conclusion of what happens when you try to affect change.  How could we, one variable in the mix, possibly make a lasting difference?

By doing just that.. By responding differently than the world in any situation.. By changing the equation..

True, the equation of life consists of an infinity of variables that are completely beyond our control, but that doesn't mean they are all beyond our influence.  You, however, are the only one who gets to decide what kind of person you will be day in and day out.  What kind of variable you will be in the equation.  Will you fall in the negative column, or the positive? You may not be able to affect the sum of all the negative variables around you, but you can make a difference in the way your particular variable affects the equation. And though you might not have much influence on 7 billion variables, you certainly have influence on those in your vicinity.

-1+(-1)+(-1)+(-1)+(-1)= -5
-1+(-1)+(+1)+(-1)+(-1)= -3
-1+(-1)+(+1)+(+1)+(-1)= -1
-1+(+1)+(+1)+(+1)+(-1)= +1

Every time you choose to respond differently than expected, than the world responds, you are making a difference.. You are changing the equation.. You are changing the world..


Though you may never witness the full weight of your actions, go m.a.d. today

Faith is...

 “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

-                        - Hebrews 11:1

What is faith? How do we define it? Everyone has their own take, but I guess that’s because, in many ways, faith is deeply personal. This is my attempt at defining faith.  It was originally written to be more “spoken word” than prose, but I just felt like sharing it.

                What is faith? Faith is…. Belief.  Faith is…. Trust. Faith is…. Surrender.  Faith is setting an alarm to wake you up in the morning.  Faith is telling someone “I’ll see you soon.” Faith is leaping, whether you look first or not. Faith is opening your eyes, expecting to see; and having the confidence to say what will be will be. Kites have faith, and footballs; as do ships of the sea and the flowers out of bloom. Faith to soar, to score, to weather the storm, to once again embrace the sun. Because creation knows this ancient truth of faith: That though the night be long or the weather cold, faith is knowing the light of life again will shine, and all things have a purpose in their time. Faith is knowing that life is good and well worth living, even when the evidence says it isn't. Because faith is not evidence. Faith spans the gap to truth that evidence never can. Faith is inhale, it is exhale, it is your left foot following your right foot. Faith is believing in that which you have not experienced.  It is believing in that which experience tells you you shouldn't.  Faith is falling down and getting back up, faith is falling down and getting back up, faith is falling down and getting back up as many times as it takes because faith does not believe in defeat. Faith is replacing the sands of doubt with the seed of the mustard plant and shouting I believe into the heart of those who would have you not; into the heart of this world and its mountains that refuse to move; into God’s heart and into your own and into a glorious union of the two that you might be given the strength crucial, nay the strength necessary, to the opening of your eyes to yet another day. Not hoping, not contemplating, not postulating but knowing your life has meaning  today and it will having meaning tomorrow and the next day and the next day and a thousand years from now even as your name has passed from all memory and all history and it is only faith that can confirm your purpose and meaning for living.  Without it you can do nothing.  With it you can do anything. For faith is confidence and it is assurance and those who lack it miss out on the fullness of life.

"In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't." 

    -Blaise Pascal

Written 9/30/11

     I've been joking about what I've come to call the "white man's tax."  Anywhere I go in India (on the streets at least) the fair color of my skin means a raised price.  White people must have green auras.  I get maybe two of ten rickshaw rides at a fair price and even entry into museums and land marks jumps as much as 250% for foreigners.  The latter is not such a concern as, one would hope, for the most part the extra money goes towards preserving culture and history for the enjoyment of the less endowed natives.  The rickshaws, however, are a noose of annoyance around the neck of one's patience.  The tightening noose results in a death of frustration.  The truth is that people despise being taken advantage of.  it is an affront to pride and principle.  I all reality, though, an eight mile taxi ride for under two dollars really isn't that bad.  Granted, it can sneak up on you when you take six or seven smalls trips in a day, but the people doing that are pretty much just tourists anyway.  Is it really such a crime that foreigners are charged more because they are assumed to have more?  After all, we do for the most part.  Even those travelers who don't at least had enough to make it there - a luxury most natives will never know.  The fact is that if natives could afford (in general) to pay more they would be charged more.  A thing does not have to be fair in order to be just.  Besides, "... of him who much is given, much will be asked."
     So why is it we see greed and pride as being less wrong than cheating? Are the Seven sins so deadly because we are less likely to be aware of the level at which they have consumed us?  We so desperately want to believe that we are teaching - these fathers, sons, husbands just trying to live a better life - a lesson in honesty when we complain and demand a "fair" price.  In truth the only lesson we teach is of the selfishness and greed of foreigners.